Then there are the why questions that touch us even deeper. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does love hurt so bad sometimes? Why does a beautiful, selfless 26 year-old woman who comes from a good and faithful family die of cancer during the prime of her life, while others who seem to be selfishly motivated most of their lives, live to a ripe old age?
Although I didn't know Corey Haddon, I knew people in our congregation who did. On October 26th, 2008, this 26-year old woman lost her battle with melanoma and there are no easy answers to the question why. Why did this happen to her? Why did this happen to her family? Where was God during all of this?
For difficult questions there are no easy answers. Furthermore I am repelled by things people say who believe they have the answers. I'm talking about well-meaning Christians who say things like, "this was God's will," or "the Lord needed her in heaven." What's worse is there are people who will use unfortunate and tragic examples like the untimely death of a young person, to perpetuate the belief that God does not exist. They will argue that a loving and just god would not allow such things to happen and therefore he does not exist. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I don't have all the answers. I don't have even a few of them. I do know that seeing the faith of the Haddon family during her funeral and hearing the stories that were told about Corey I am certain (now more than ever) that God does, in fact exist! I could feel his presence right there in that church sanctuary and I was certain that he had been with Corey and her family during their most difficult times recently.
Because of her faith and the fullness of God's grace, she positively touched many people that she knew and many who did not know her. People like me. She lived her life growing into the fullness of God's plans for her. Even during the last few weeks of her life, Corey used her God-given talents to create. Her artistic ability and the relationships she cultivated in her relatively short time on this earth were lovingly displayed during her funeral on Friday. It is happily obvious that during her life she loved many and was loved by many. In her death her testimony lives on through the people's lives she touched.
As for the why questions, I have resolved to believe that there are some things in life that will remain a mystery. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I have to admit that when they do, my faith is tested and doubt enters in. But as the Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegard, points out, faith cannot exist without doubt. The beauty is that we have the opportunity to choose whether we will believe in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
One of my favorite musical groups, Caedmon's Call, accurately describe this phenomenon in the song Shifting Sand. The chorus goes like this...
"My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace"
I can't explain a God who would continue to love me, even as I doubt him. His grace is wonderfully sufficient for me. The last verse is...
"Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time"
Though the sand in the hourglass of Corey's life has run out here on this earth, she lives a victorious new life with Christ. Her legacy will undoubtedly live on in the people she has left behind for a short time.
The question I find asking myself today is not why any more. But do I have the courage to live my life like Corey did? Do I dare live into the fullness of God's plans for me?
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